The Freytag Post

Lets just laugh at ourselves every once in a while

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    My vernacular regarding these things is always way off. Welcome to my second attempt at a BLOG version of the Freytag Post. The last one was a one shot deal so cross your fingers that this one lasts at least two issues...We can only hope. So sit back and enjoy the funny.
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OH NO! He’s gonna try this again!!!

Posted by freytag on September 8, 2007

Hello all and welcome to yet another iteration of the Freytag Post. We all know how fun this is I get the nerve or boredom up to write one of these, then open a blog account, then write a Post, then forget about writing a follow up, then get my account deactivated for inactivity. This seems like a fun sequence of events…lets try it again…..

The Freytag Post….

Summer has come to an end so I thought I would roll through the summer movies and review the ones I saw as well as some of the ones I refused to see because I’m not that stupid.

Starting in June

Mr. Brooks – No not Mr. Baseball. That was a good movie about creepy old dudes. Kevin Costner is creepy enough on his own. He does not need to play a psycho killer to add to that image for me. Needless to say I didn’t see this movie it looked like crap. My wife did though and she confirmed that Costner played a creepy psycho killer version of Kevin Costner. I feel vindicated for not seeing Dances with Crazy. Verdict – Creepy

Knocked Up – I did see this one, but not for like a month after it came out. I didn’t want to buy into the hype. All the critics said it was great and all the IMDB scores were good but I was reluctant. 40 Year Old Virgin was piss yourself hilarious so why did I think this was going to be worse because how could it be better. Boy was I wrong this movie was funnier than all get out. Warning if you don’t like dick and fart jokes don’t see this movie, thankfully they are my bread and butter so I loved it. The humor was not all crass potty humor though and there was a touching formulaic story in there under the belly laughs. Verdict -Hillarious

Day Watch – A Russian Vampire Movie. The second in a three part vampire series. I didn’t see this one not sure why really just kind of missed it. I think I’ll add it and the first one to the Netflix queue. All the hype and IMDB says it was good… Verdict -Can’t believe I missed it.

Oceans Thirteen – Yet another movie I did not see this time on purpose. I really have no faith in this series after the jumbled up cluster of a bad movie the last one turned out to be. I refused to pay to sit through more of this crap. Again My wife saw it. She said it was good. Still not gonna see it. I know George Clooney is charming and his head bobbles around. I know Brad pit is Dreamy and when you look into his eyes you are swept away to a paradise land few have ever returned from….Huh…What?…Oh yeah Oceans Thirteen. Verdict – I would pay good money for a George Clooney bobble head doll, but not this movie.

Fantastic 4:Rise of the Silver Surfer -More crap I refused to see but Joy gladly went to. No way I am shelling out 8 bucks to see “No Let’s” Jessica Alba stumble through horrible dialog for 2 hours, it was bad enough the first time thank you. Verdict – “Lets not make fun of the movie” “NO, LET’S”

There are some more movies that I didn’t see but I think people would expect me to see in June (DOA,1408, Rise, Evan Allmighty, and Sicko). Of these The only one I really feel like I missed out on any good oportunity to be a good summer flick was 1408.

Sicko was supposed to be good but I’m not really sure if it really fits in here so I am glad I didn’t see it for the sake of the POST. I do actually enjoy Michael Moore films in general and I do accept them for being hilarious over the top completely un-subtle propaganda. The man is good at what he does and I don’t think many can argue with me on that. People may argue with me on what he does or what he stands for but that isn’t what I said.

So to close up June’s Movie review we will end with a REAL Blockbuster Summer Action Flick:

Live Free or Die Hard – YES!!! They apparently dug up Bruce Willis’ corpse (He died upon hearing the fact that his wife left him for that guy from Dude Where’s My Car) and revived him to make the studio millions of dollars. This movie is what summer cinema is all about. Blowing things up…Check. Smarmy smart as remarks…Check. Bad guy with hot chick bad ass…check. Completely indestructible hero who saves the day and converts his reluctant sidekick to be a hero too by the end of the movie…check and check. Bruce Willis totally should have died in this movie like 30 time a far cry from the first Die Hard movie where he only absolutely should have died like 10 times. Of all the movies in this series this has to be the second worst because I can’t stand the second one (everyone says I don’t remember how good it was because the last time I saw it I was like 10). Any way the funniest part about this movie was the hilarious High tech mumbo jumbo that was explained away with big words the public wouldn’t understand and accept as being ok. But for those geeks out there with any amount of computer networking knowledge this made the movie funnier than hell. the following comic sums it up for me:

In conclusion:

Best Movie for June – Live Free or Die Hard

Movie you will actually want to watch since it isn’t June anymore – Knocked Up

Worst piece of crap i didn’t see, but my wife did – Fantastic Four

Apparently my ability to go see absolute crap is in dramatic decline. However My wifes tolerence for crap is growing. This is to be expected she does live with me…



Posted in Humor, Movies | 3 Comments »